


Thoughts of the Sound of Drums

by theprydonian_archivist



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Episode: s03e12 The Sound of Drums, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-24
Updated: 2010-01-23
Packaged: 2018-07-15 00:58:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7198985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theprydonian_archivist/pseuds/theprydonian_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We all know the events of The Sound of Drums, but what's less well known is what the Doctor was actually thinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Phone conversation

**Author's Note:**

> A big thanks to my Beta reader Beth, you are fantastic.
> 
> Note from Versaphile, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Prydonian](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Prydonian). Deciding that it needed to have a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact the e-mail address on [The Prydonian collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/theprydonian/profile).

  
Author's note: This phone conversation is what converted me to the whole Doctor/Master thing, so it seemed fitting that the first thing I wrote was based on it!  


* * *

So the Master was Prime Minister? The Doctor supposed it made sense. After all he always had liked power. He sighed. Why couldn’t things be like they were before? Back on Gallifrey at the academy. Back when Koschei and Theta were two innocent carefree young boys… well as innocent as you could expect for two young boys to be anyway… well more innocent than they were now, with the blood of many staining their hands. Back then they had been free to be friends… lovers, whispered a voice at the back of the Doctor’s mind. A voice he quickly pushed away. Those days were long gone, and now? Now they were doomed to fight each other — enemies through time and space, although the Doctor has wondered, on occasion, whether the Master might not wish as much as he does that things could be the same again. Like they used to be. No. He scolded himself. He couldn’t dwell on that now. Mustn’t. Whatever it was the Master had planned with those so-called ‘Toclafane’ must be stopped. He mustn’t let past feelings come into it. He turned to Martha, on the phone to her brother, telling him to hide. Why was it that everything he did lead to someone else getting hurt on his behalf? People he knew and loved. People he’d never even met. Martha’s words suddenly broke into his thoughts…

“Let them go Saxon!” she cried down the phone.

The Doctor hurried over to where she had stopped.

“Do you hear me? Let them GO!” she practically screamed.

The Doctor calmly retrieved the phone from her hand and raised it to his ear, as he separated himself from his two friends.

“I’m here,” he stated, mentally brushing all thought of what had once been to the back of his mind. He had to concentrate on the task at hand. There was a pause as the Time Lord masquerading as Harold Saxon removed his phone from his pocket, and put it to his ear, turning off the speakerphone.

“Doctor!” the other Time Lord breathed into the phone.

“Master.” Unseen by the Doctor, the Master smiled an almost seductive smile.

“I like it when you use my name!” he replied.

A blush spread across the Doctor’s cheeks as memories rose unbidden to mind. He fervently hoped that Jack and Martha would not notice. It wouldn’t do for them to know what sort of history there was between them. As he spoke he kept his voice calm, rational and controlled.

“You chose it. A psychiatrist’s field day.” The Doctor had always wondered about that choice. Was it purely, as everyone else thought, because of the insanity — the wish to rule over and be master of all, or was there more to it than that? Was it in memory of those days? Or to taunt him about them?  
The Master smirked at the Doctor’s response, before replying.

“As you chose yours. The man who makes people better. How sanctimonious is that?”

Oh how he wished that were true. That he made people better. But it never worked out that way. All those companions over the past few hundred years. He thought of all those who he had left behind. Alone. Of those who had died on his behalf. He thought of Martha’s family, imprisoned because of a vague connection. And of Rose. His Rose. Trapped in that parallel universe and all because of him. But no. Now was not the time to dwell on that. Quickly he moved on before his emotions overwhelmed him.

“So! Prime Minister then?” he commented — a fairly safe bet, given that the Master never could resist a bit of a gloat.

“I know! It’s good isn’t it!” the Master responded. The way he spoke, the Doctor couldn’t help but imagine him smirking. But now it was time to try to get to the hearts of what was going on.

“Who are those creatures? Because they’re not the Toclafane; that’s just a made-up name like the bogeyman.”

The Master raised his eyebrows. So that was the way he wanted to play? Fine. Time for a little trip down memory lane!

“Do you remember all those made-up tales about the Toclafane when we were kids? Back home? Where is it Doctor?”

The Doctor sighed. He remembered those tales all too well. Back home. Back before… well he’d known he’d have to tell the Master about Gallifrey at some point. He’d just hoped it would have taken longer for the subject to come up. Still, maybe it was better to get it over with…

“Gone,” he said, simply.

There was genuine shock in The Master’s voice as he replied. He quite honestly hadn’t known.

“How can Gallifrey be gone?” he asked incredulously.

The Doctor mentally hardened himself. It would take all his strength not to break down after everything that had happened.

“It burnt,” he replied, unable to bring himself to say more.

“And the Time Lords?” asked the Master, although the Doctor felt sure that he had guessed at the answer.

“Dead.” He paused momentarily, allowing it time to sink in. “And the Daleks. More or less. What happened to you?” He added, longing to move the subject away from what had happened. What he had done.

“The Time Lords only resurrected me because they knew I’d be the perfect warrior for a Time War. I was there when the Dalek Emperor took control of the Cruciform. I saw it. I ran. I ran so far. I made myself human so they would never find me. Because… because I was so scared,” the Master answered, obviously finding it somewhat difficult to admit out loud, for the first time in his lives, that he had been scared. Deep in the Doctor’s hearts stirred a sympathy for the Master. He knew how his old rival had felt. Terrified by the events unfolding around him. He knew what it was to run. To run so far away. If only things were different, he knew that he could once again have loved the Master, as he had used to when the names Doctor and Master were unknown and they were merely Theta and Koschei. But he couldn’t allow it. Not now. But that didn’t mean he didn’t understand.

“I know,” he said, with such conviction no-one could ever have doubted the sincerity behind his words.

“All of them?” asked the Master, backtracking slightly. “But not you. Which must mean…”

“I was the only one who could end it," the Doctor cut in, finding it easier to say it, than to hear it from the Master’s lips. “And I tried. I did. I tried everything,” he added, trying to justify himself, not to the Master, but to his own conscience. The Master smiled. He could sense the Doctors inner conflicts and turmoil.

“What did it feel like though? Two almighty civilisations burning. Oh tell me how did it feel?” he urged, pushing at the very boundaries of the Doctor’s sanity.

“Stop it!” the Doctor snapped, this new attack of the Master’s breaking through a level of the defence he had tried to build up. The Master smirked, relishing this first small victory.

“You must have been like God.”

Yes, thought the Doctor, he supposed he had. And since then a lonely God. Oh sure there had been human companions. Even someone he loved. But that wasn’t the same as another Time Lord. One of his own people. He swallowed back some of the pain of his thoughts.

“I’ve been alone ever since. But not any more. Don’t you see? All we’ve got is each other!”

The Master smiled incredulously. It was more than he could have hoped for. He could play upon this new revelation, although he had always suspected that the Doctor still felt something for him after all those long years.

“Are you asking me out on a date?” he asked, trying to hide the longing for it to be true behind a mask of scorn.

The Doctor blushed a bright scarlet. If only things were that simple. If only things were different and he could ask the man he had loved all those years ago on a date. But it wasn’t to be. However much he wished things could be the same again, he knew they couldn’t. Unless…

“You can stop this right now. We can leave this planet. We can fight across the constellations if you want, but not on Earth.” He hoped against hopes his rival would agree, his blush deepening as his mind once again drifted to their youth at the academy. Rassilon, he hoped Martha and Jack wouldn’t notice. That would be embarrassing to have to explain. The Master’s voice cut through his thoughts, once more shattering those hopes.

“It’s too late.” The Doctor raised an eyebrow.

“Why do you say that?” he asked, intrigued.

“The drumming,” stated the Master, tapping out a four beat rhythm on the table — da-da-da-dum — a beat that was so familiar “Can’t you hear it?” (Da-da-da-dum) “Inside my head.” (Da-da-da-dum) “I thought it would stop. But it never does.” (Da-da-da-dum) “It never stops. Inside my head.” (Da-da-da-dum) “The drumming, Doctor, the constant drumming.” (Da-da-da-dum)

The Doctor thought about this. It had never seemed to bother the Master this much in his previous regenerations, but maybe it was what the Doctor needed. A chance to make someone better for once. To cure the madness that lay within. To give them a chance to start again.

“I can help you. Please let me help,” he pleaded.

“It’s everywhere. Listen. Listen. Listen. Here come the drums…” He started tapping out the rhythm again - da-da-da-dum “Here come… the drums…”

Out of the corner of his eye the Doctor saw a stranger, leaning against a wall, listening to music and subconsciously tapping out a rhythm on his legs… da-da-da-dum, da-da-da-dum…

“What have you done?” the Doctor asked, all thoughts of the past gone now. “Tell me how have you done this? What are those creatures? Tell me!” the Doctor demanded, getting more and more tense by the second, as he walked towards the row of shops by which the lad was leaning, still tapping da-da-da-dum…

“Ooh look you’re on TV!” the Master exclaimed, further trying the Doctor’s patience.

“Stop it! Answer me!” he demanded, his frustration breaking through.

“No, really, you’re on telly!” The Master insisted, allowing a note of triumph to enter his voice. “You and your little band, which by the way is ticking every demographic box, so congratulations on that. Oh, there you are.” The Doctor looked through the window of the shop ahead of him, in time to see himself Jack and Martha appear on the screen of a television inside. “You’re public enemies 1, 2 and 3. Oh! And you can tell ‘Handsome Jack’ that I’ve sent his little gang off on a wild goose chase to the Himalayas, so you won’t be getting any help from them.” The Doctor glanced over at Jack. Who was this little gang of his? And why had he not seen fit to mention them before? “Go on, off you go, why not start by turning to the… right,” the Master said, laughing slightly at the expression on the Doctor’s face as he turned in the suggested direction, looking up into the camera.

“He can see us!” the Doctor called to his companions as he snatched his sonic screwdriver from his pocket and turned it on the camera, shutting it down.

“Oh! You public menace! Better start running. Go on… run!” taunted the Master. The Doctor shut off the phone call, knowing he wouldn’t get anything more out of the Master this time.

“He’s got control of everything,” he stated, slightly stunned.

“What do we do?” asked Martha, as the Doctor thought back over the conversation he had just had. Over the situation.

“We’ve got nowhere to go,” stated Jack, echoing the others’ thoughts.

“Doctor. What do we do?” Martha asked again, more urgently this time, snapping the Doctor out of his thoughts.

“We run,” he stated simply, before taking off down the row of shops, his two companions following closely behind him.


	2. Remembering Gallifrey

How was the Master doing this? How could he be in people’s heads like that? The Doctor couldn’t work it out. Yes he could be hypnotic. Always had been, even when they were young. He sighed as once again he recalled his childhood on Gallifrey, with his dear friend and lover. The Time Lord who was now his nemesis. Rival. Enemy. Why did things have to change? His thoughts were interrupted by the return of Martha. He and Jack were sat in an old abandoned warehouse, and he was seemingly studying a laptop, checking the news. He was even wearing his glasses, as he always liked to when he was working. It made him look more… clever.

“How was it?” Jack asked, as Martha walked over, bag in hand.

“I don’t think anyone saw me. Anything new?” she replied. The Doctor instantly knew what she meant, quickly finding the relevant section of the news page he had supposedly been perusing as Jack informed Martha of his work in the time she’d been away.

“I’ve got this tuned into the government wavelength so we can follow what Saxon’s doing.”

No, thought the Doctor, that’s not what she meant. Humans. They could be slow sometimes. Sure enough, Martha responded

“Yeah, I meant about my family.”

Well of course she had. Why would she have meant anything else? What human would have asked about anything else when the people they loved were being imprisoned by a madman? Sometimes, the Doctor though sadly, he knew humans better than they knew themselves. He glanced at the laptop again.

“It still says the Jones family taken in for questioning,” he said as Martha placed the bag on the table. “Tell you what though, no mention of Leo.”

Martha almost smiled at this, giving the Doctor a slightly warm feeling, cherishing the smile, which he knew would be oh so rare in the coming days.

“He’s not as daft as he looks!” she commented, light-heartedly — definitely something that was becoming a rare occurrence. “I’m talking about my brother on the run,” she continued, realising what she had been saying, all smiles and jokes slipping away. “How did this happen?”

“Nice chips,” Jack butted in, interrupting Martha’s flow. It was almost enough to make the Doctor smile as he took some himself… Almost.

“Hmm, actually they’re not bad,” he commented, throwing a couple into his mouth. He sighed to himself, as memories of that first ‘date’ with Rose came to his mind. They’d had chips. He’d been a different man back then. In more ways than one. The wounds of the Time War still raw. Still tender. She had helped. Made him so much better. Softened that tough shell he had built up, because he hadn’t dared to do anything else. Because he’d lost everything and everyone he’d ever loved or cared for. Or so he’d thought. Until today. Until he’d found another Time Lord had survived. And not just any Time Lord, but the one with whom he’d shared the most history — friends, lovers, rivals, enemies. There had been nearly every possible feeling between them, almost all of his lives. So much more than there could ever be between a Time Lord and a human. Even in those early years, when there was only friendship and love, that was so much more than any human had given. Even Rose. Because there could be so much more intimacy between two Time Lords — they could share not only physical contact, but a mental contact — they could open their minds to one another — an intimacy that could never be imitated with a human. Unnoticed by him, Jack and Martha had been exchanging glances, before Jack posed the question both wished to know the answer to.

“So Doctor, who is he?” Jack asked, breaking the Doctor away from his thoughts. “How come the ancient society of Time Lords created a psychopath?”

“And what is he do you?” added Martha. “A colleague or…” The Doctor considered this for a brief moment. How best to answer.

“A friend at first,” he opted for, truthfully. But he had become so much more than that. Koschei and Theta. The inseparable pair. They had made no effort to make their relationship secret. But now… now no-one could know but them. Ever since the Master had taken Koschei’s place, and the Doctor had taken Theta’s. Yes they were still the same. To some extent. But everything had changed. And Jack and Martha could never now what it was that it had changed from. No one could.

“Thought you were gonna say he was your secret brother or something!” Martha commented with a slight laugh.

The Doctor froze. Now that would just be… wrong, given everything that had been. That he secretly wished could still be. But no. Just… no.

“You’ve been watching too much TV!” he commented. So, so wrong.

“But all the legends of Gallifrey,” said Jack, sensing the Doctor’s unease on the subject, “made it sound so perfect.”

The Doctor sighed as he thought of his home world. Lost. Burnt. Because of him. The Doctor. The man who heals people, and he had destroyed it. Destroyed them all. Because he’d had to, a voice inside of him insisted.

“Perfect to look at maybe,” he said aloud. “And it was. It was beautiful.” He sighed again, allowing images of his planet to flood his brain. Allowing his senses to remember what it had looked like. Sounded like. Smelt like. Felt like. Tasted like. Yes, he let himself truly remember for the first time in far too long. “They used to call it the Shining World of the Seven Systems. And on the Continent of Wild Endeavour, in the Mountains of Solace and Solitude, there stood the Citadel of the Time Lords. The oldest and most mighty race in the universe…” His race. His and the Master’s. He thought of those mountains. Of that beautiful citadel. Lost forever. “Looking down on the galaxies below…sworn never to interfere…only to watch…” And that is why he could never have stayed. He had never been content to watch the universe go by, letting events unfold without helping. Without trying to save someone. His thoughts turned back to the Master. It was on Gallifrey it had all started. When they were so, so young.

“Children of Gallifrey, taken from their families at the age of eight to enter the Academy. And some say that’s when it all began.” In fact he knew it was. How could he not. He’d known Koschei so well, how could something like that have escaped his notice? “When he was a child… that’s when the Master saw eternity. As a novice, he was taken for initiation. He stood in front of the untempered schism. It’s a gap in the fabric of reality through which could be seen the whole of the vortex.” They all had to. Every single Time Lord had looked into the untempered schism. Koschei and Theta had both had to. Way back. All those hundreds of years ago. “You stand there, eight years old.” They couldn’t comprehend just how young that was, to a Time Lord. To someone with hundreds of years experience, eight was nothing. The blink of an eye. Oh it would sound young, yes. But to him? Nothing at all. “Staring at the raw power of time and space, just a child. Some would be inspired…some would run away…and some would go mad.” Oh yes, Koschei had gone mad. But it had never seemed to show that much when they were at the academy. Yes there had been flickers of it. A flicker of what was to come. But it had never really shown. Almost as though the friendship they had shared, which had blossomed into love, had kept it at bay. Koschei had mentioned the drums, even then, but it had been as something faint, ticking away at the back of his mind, softly, barely noticeable. Back somewhere where it could do no harm. From what the Doctor could tell, they had become more pronounced with each regeneration. Maybe that was why he had now become obsessed with them. Because they were so loud. So much louder than they had been before. And maybe, a voice in his mind whispered, maybe if they could share that love again, it would subdue the Master’s madness. Quieten the drums, like it had all those years ago on Gallifrey. Just maybe. But he couldn’t test it out. Not now. Not yet. Not while the Master was ruling over this country, with whatever plans it was he had for this planet. No. He shook off the thoughts with a shake of his head. “Brrrrr… I dunno.”

“What about you?” asked Martha, although the Doctor was fairly sure she knew.

“Oh! The ones that ran away! I never stopped!” Except… when he had been with his Koschei, Kos wasn’t the only one who had been made better through that love. Because when Theta had been with Koschei, the need to run away suddenly didn’t seem so urgent. He remembered one particular night, when he and Koschei had snuck out, together. They had laid out under the stars, his head resting on Koschei’s chest. The other boy’s fingers running tenderly through his hair. They had simply looked at the stars and enjoyed each others presence. And in that moment, Theta had felt he would never have to run again. Why would he want to when he could be with his Koschei. He had told Koschei so. He remembered the way the other boy had gently moved his (Theta’s) head towards him, before kissing him on the lips. The first kiss of so many. He remembered how he had blushed as he returned the kiss. A kiss so tender. So loving. His first love. Oh how he wished that love could have lasted, for all eternity. The way they had promised each other it would. But it was not to be. He wondered what things would be like if it had lasted. Where they would be now. What would have happened. But it had gone wrong. He didn’t bare to think of how and why. It was enough that it had. His thoughts were once again interrupted, causing him to once again force them away. He should really learn to keep control of them. Especially in times such as these. The beeper on Jack’s vortex manipulator was going off.

“Encrypted channel with files attached. Don’t recognise it though.” Jack informed him and Martha. The Doctor got up, discarding the chip wrapper.

“Patch it through to the laptop,” he instructed. Jack sighed.

“Since we’re telling stories, um, there’s something I haven’t told you,” he said, turning to the laptop in front of them. He pressed a few buttons on the manipulator, and an all too familiar logo appeared on the screen. One that had been the cause of even more pain in his life. One that had caused him to lose yet another someone he had loved. How could Jack work for them? And how long had he? Had he been part of it, back at Canary Wharf? Back when he’d lost Rose?

“You work for Torchwood?” were his simple words, filled with questioning. Disappointment. How could his friend do this to him?

“I swear it’s different. It’s changed. There’s only half a dozen of us now,” he replied, desperate to show the Doctor he hadn’t betrayed him in any way.

“Everything Torchwood did and you’re part of it?” — he almost spat the words out, anger inside him building. Why would Jack do this to him?

“The old regime was destroyed at canary wharf.” Oh he’d known the Doctor would take this badly. Why else would he have waited so long before divulging that particular piece of information? “I rebuilt it. I changed it. And when I did that I did it for you.” He continued, a little anger of his own building up. “In your honour.” He finished, glancing over at his friend, hoping the Doctor might accept it, but all he received was a glare. The Doctor still found it too difficult to believe that Torchwood could have changed that much, no matter who was heading it up. He turned away from Jack, an unspoken disappointment between them, and started the message. An unknown woman appeared on the screen.

“If I don’t return to my desk by twenty two hundred,” the image on the screen started, solemnly, “this file will be emailed to Torchwood. Which means if you’re watching this then I’m…” she left the sentence hanging, but they all understood its implications. “Anyway, the Saxon files are attached. But take a look at the Archangel document. That’s when it started. When Harry Saxon became Minister in charge of launching the Archangel network.” An image of Earth appeared on the screen, with several objects orbiting it. Archangel? What was that? It had to be something to do with the satellites shown on the screen. But what?

“What’s the Archangel network?” he asked his companions. They should know, after all it was their planet…  
“I’ve got Archangel. Everyone’s got it,” said Martha, pulling her mobile from her pocket.

“It’s the mobile phone network. ‘Cause, look, it’s gone worldwide. They’ve got fifteen satellites in orbit. Even the other networks, they’re all carried by Archangel,” Jack explained, as the Doctor took Martha’s mobile, and started to work on it using his sonic screwdriver. Yes, this had the Master’s name written all over it.

“It’s in the phones!” he exclaimed, working his sonic screwdriver on the appropriate setting. “Oh, I said he was a hypnotist. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.” And there it was. That rhythm again. Coming from the phone. Beep-beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep-beep. “There it is. That rhythm, it’s everywhere. Ticking away in the subconscious.” Oh yes, that was so very him. Subtle and hypnotic.

“What is it, mind control?” asked Martha, curiously.

“No, no, no. It’s subtler than that.” The Master always had been good at subtle persuasion. Where the Doctor rushed into situations, never really thinking about the consequences, the Master plotted. He crafted his plans so carefully. Down to the last detail. He had so much patience with them. He was charismatic. Full of charm. And knew exactly how to get people under his control, unquestioningly following. “Any stronger and people would question it. But contained in that rhythm, in layers of code… Vote Saxon. Believe in me. Whispering to the world.” And of course it had to be that rhythm. That rhythm that was so familiar to him. That had been strangely familiar even when Koschei had first told him, back on Gallifrey. He’d never quite been able to place his finger on why that beat was so… recognisable. So familiar. And then suddenly a realisation came to him. Oh the Master was clever. “Oh, yes! That’s how he hid himself from me. ‘Cause I should have sensed there was another Time Lord on Earth. I should have known way back.” Yes, because the Master would have known how important it was to make sure that only the correct version of the Doctor found him. Only the one who had found him on Utopia already. Of course he would have found a way to disguise himself. And trust the Master to link it in to hypnotising the world. “The signal cancelled him out.” Ah, yes. He had an idea. A brilliant one. Well, of course it was brilliant, after all it was his idea!

“Any way you can stop it?” enquired Jack.  
“Not from down here,” he responded. Besides, his plan was much more fantastic than that. “But now we know how he’s doing it…”

“We can fight back!” Martha finished for him. She was quite quick that one. For a human.

“Oh yes!” he replied, grinning. Time to carry out his plan. He took Martha’s phone and his sonic screwdriver, and started to work, pausing only to retrieve the TARDIS keys — one from Martha, another from Jack and the third from his own pocket. As he worked on the keys, he let his work fully occupy his mind, not allowing any stray thoughts in. He’d had more than enough of those already that day. He fully concentrated on the task at hand, until it was completed. Returning his attention to Jack and Martha he laid the three keys on the table. His stroke of genius. He stepped back from the table, removing his glasses and placing them in his pocket, before proceeding to explain.

“Three TARDIS keys, three pieces of the TARDIS with low-level perception properties because the TARDIS is designed to blend in.” He thought of his TARDIS. Her faulty chameleon circuit. “Well… sort of!” He amended. “But… Now! The Archangel Network’s got a second low-level signal. Weld the key to the network and…” he paused for a moment. It would be easier to demonstrate… “Martha, look at me. You can see me, yes?” he asked, stepping back, holding one of the TARDIS keys out in front of him.

“Yep!” He smiled, knowingly.

“What about now?” he asked, as he slipped the key over his head. Martha looked confused. Blinking, shaking her head at the Doctor in front of her, who seemed to be trying to slide out of view. Jack laughed at her obvious confusion.

“No. I’m here. Look at me,” he said, waving to attract her attention back to him.

“It’s like…I know you’re there but I don’t want to know,” she observed, trying to get her head around what was going on.

“And back again” said the Doctor, removing the key again, excited by his own genius. “See? It just shifts your perception a tiny little bit. Doesn’t make us invisible, just unnoticed. Oh,” he exclaimed, as he handed the keys to Jack and Martha, “I know what it’s like. It’s like–it’s like when you fancy someone and they don’t even know you exist. That’s what it’s like. Come on!” he explained, before heading off towards the exit. Behind his back, Jack and Martha exchanged glances. For a 900 year old alien genius, he couldn’t half be slow sometimes, was the thought running through both their heads.

“You too, huh?” commented Jack, unheard by the Doctor. Martha simply nodded, before following that wonderful Doctor out of the warehouse. As they moved outside, the Doctor reminded them

“Don’t run. Don’t shout. Just keep your voice down. Draw attention to yourself and the spell is broken. Just keep to the shadows.” Yes, they had to make sure they weren’t seen. Make sure they found the Master on their terms, not his.

“Like ghosts.” Jack commented.

“Yeah, that’s what we are. Ghosts.” They each slipped a key round their neck, before heading out into the city.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished part three of this story. Thanks to my Beta Beth and my wonderful friend from DeviantArt (go visit him - http://frenziedferret.deviantart.com/) who I love to pieces.

  
Author's note: I finally finished part three of this story. Thanks to my Beta Beth and my wonderful friend from DeviantArt (go visit him - http://frenziedferret.deviantart.com/) who I love to pieces.  


* * *

Even with the perception filters it hadn’t been an easy task to get into the place where Harold Saxon was meeting President Winters, but now they were there, the Doctor, Jack and Martha could watch the proceedings. Find out what was going on. As the scene in front of them unfolded, the Doctor couldn’t help but be slightly amused at the ease with which the Master managed to wind up the president. He always had known exactly what would wind someone up. Exactly how far to push it. Plotting and scheming as ever. What was he up to? Something devious no doubt. It usually was. It was the words he heard emerge from the other Time Lord’s lips which the Doctor felt confirmed that he had to stop him. As Winters left, the Master turned to Lucy who was stood by his side.

“The last President of America,” he almost whispered to Lucy. His wife, the Doctor’s brain reminded him, with a pang of jealousy. He wished things were different. He wished he could be as free as Lucy was to be with the Master. HIS Master. Or if that were not possible, he wished he could forget those days from long ago. Those feelings he had felt, and still felt deep down inside. Wished he could be free to stop the Master purely as enemies, with no complications. It had been no easier for his previous regenerations, when they… he… had encountered the Master. Or maybe it had. He had spent so much time with humans over the years, that he had gradually become more human. And it hurt, all those emotions, as one by one he lost all those he truly cared about. Not being able to be with the only one he would ever truly love. When he’d found Rose, he’d thought, hoped, longed that she would fill the gaping hole that the absence of his Kos had left. But he realised no one ever could. Not really. And he really did love Rose, even if he hadn’t ever managed to tell her. And he missed her so much. So wished he could be with her again. But even the immense pain that losing he had left him with was nothing compared to the heartbreak he’d felt when he thought he’d lost is Koschei forever. The feelings he now felt as his hearts still yearned for the other Time Lord, standing so close. So near, yet so far. Longing to be together once more but knowing they couldn’t.

As he looked on, hearts aching, the Master turned around. Looking directly at the spot where the three of them stood, before turning his head slightly. It was almost as if… But no. Of course he couldn’t see them. Not with the perception filters. He continued to watch the Time Lord stood before him. Someone so familiar in a body so strange. He longed to be able to forget everything the Master had done. To be able to rush over to his old lover. To embrace him. To kiss him once more. To feel the touch of another Time Lord’s mind. To share that intimacy once again. His thoughts turned once again to his younger self. To all the time he had spent with his Koschei. The passion between them. The nights spent together. All those wonderful times. A blush spread across his face as he remembered all they had done together. Rassilon he was glad it was dark. He mentally slapped himself for the direction of his thoughts. That was hundreds of years ago now. Why did it have to come flooding into his mind at this precise moment? When he knew he could never let anything happen. Not now. Not with everything the Master had done and was doing and was planning to do. The sound of a siren brought him back to reality as a police van pulled over. The Master laughed and ran over to it as the Jones family were bundled out. He greeted them as though they were old friends, here to visit, not the prisoners of a madman.

“Hi guys!” he called to them cheerfully, still laughing. “All will be revealed!”

The Doctor turned to look at Martha, noting the distress at the thought of what was happening to her family.

“Oh my God!” she exclaimed, her voice so full of disgust at the Time Lord who was doing all this. It was obvious to the Doctor that she was about ready to run over them. To try to rescue them.

“Don’t move,” he told her firmly, placing a hand gently on her arm. If she gave them away now, that would be it. The Master would have all the cards, and the Jones family would have suffered for nothing. Although, he supposed they were anyway.

“But…”

“Don’t,” he said again, even more firmly. They couldn’t be noticed just yet. They watched on, unseen, as the Jones family were forced into a Land rover.

“I’m gonna kill him,” Martha whispered spitefully. The Doctor held back this slight amusement. So many had tried and failed to do just that. The Master had even managed to cheat death upon reaching his final regeneration. Taking over another’s body. What human could stop him? But even so, were she to try, it would still break his hearts. Despite all the terrible things he’d done. As bad as they were, somewhere deep down inside, his Koschei was still there. He had to be. And he couldn’t bare to lose him again.

“Say I use the perception filter to walk up behind him and break his neck?” Jack suggested. The Doctor turned and glared for him. Deep inside a voice that was so rarely noticeable was screaming. Screaming for them to leave Kos alone. That little part of him that was still Theta. The part of him that reminded him of how the Master had been before. When he was purely Koschei, nothing more.

“Now that sounds like Torchwood,” he stated with a further glare, that would undoubtedly be interpreted as further hatred of Torchwood after the events of Canary Wharf, rather than the idea of killing the Master.

“Still a good plan,” responded Jack, raising his eyebrows slightly.

No. That was never a good plan. ‘Especially when it’s Kos,’ whispered the Theta part of his mind. No. It wasn’t even an option. Not ever.

“He’s a Time Lord,” he said aloud, looking ahead to the goings on. Avoiding Jack’s eyes. Knowing Jack, if he saw into the Doctor’s eyes now, he would be able to see a flicker of the conflict going on inside. He would work out that there was more to their… relationship… than he was letting on. “Which makes him my responsibility. I’m not here to kill him.” And never would be. “I’m here to save him.” Save him from himself. From the darkness. From the insanity. And if possible, the drumming. Because maybe if he was freed from them, his Koschei could return to him. Even though he had barely known Koschei without those drums. Only for a matter of minutes. An hour or two at most. But surely he would be better without them. Or failing that, maybe he could quieten them. Make it bearable for his love. And if he could save him. Well, maybe then they could finally be together again. Together forever. Lovers for eternity, as they had always promised one another they would be. They could once again be the inseparable Theta and Koschei. As his thoughts once again threatened to overwhelm him, Jack was working on his vortex manipulator.

“Aircraft carrier Valiant,” he was saying, as the Doctor dragged himself from his thoughts. “It’s a UNIT ship at twenty eight point two north and ten point oh two east” Martha looked across at him.

“How do we get aboard?”  
The Doctor glanced at Jack.

“Does that thing work as a teleport?” he asked hopefully. Now they knew where the Master was headed, they had to get there too. Find him. Stop him. Save him. He just… had to. All the while plans were forming in his head. The Master always had plans for every eventuality. Plans and back up plans. He plotted and schemed and was ready, and for once he wanted to be ready too. Ready to face the Master and win.

“Since you revamped it, yeah,” Jack responded. “Co-ordinates set.”  
The Doctor took hold of Martha’s hand and placed it on the manipulator, making sure all three had contact before activating, carrying them away from that place and to the Valiant, each of them groaning as they landed roughly on board.

“Oh, that thing is rough!” commented Martha from where she had landed on the floor.

“I’ve had worst nights!” came the response from Jack. So typical of him, thought the Doctor as he straightened and took at a look around at the ship. “Welcome to the Valiant,” added Jack.

“It’s dawn,” stated Martha, sounding slightly confused as she stood and walked across to the porthole to look out. “Hold on, I thought this was a ship. Where’s the sea?” she said, gazing out of the porthole, trying to make sense of it.

“A ship for the 21st century,” explained Jack as he joined Martha at the porthole. “Protecting the skies of planet Earth.” The three of them gazed out of the porthole. It was impressive, the Doctor had to admit. Something that had been designed very well by the humans. Very well indeed.

 

Elsewhere aboard the Valiant, the Master and Lucy were arriving in the room where contact with the ‘Toclafane’ was to take place. The room was full of activity — camera crews setting up, military personnel and more. To any watching Harold and Lucy Saxon’s arrival, it seemed that Harold Saxon was bored, unimpressed and not really wanting to be there. Lucy on the other hand was looking around in awe and wonder at the ship around her, taking in every little detail. And while Lucy genuinely was in awe of her surroundings, her husband was merely putting on a show — something he was well practiced at — while inside he was running over all his plots, plans and schemes. The many different variations, dependant on all of the uncontrollable variables — how Winter’s behaved. How the different people would respond to the forthcoming events. And the Doctor. The most unpredictable of all the variables. But even then, he knew the Doctor well. Had known him for many hundreds of years. He had changed a lot in his regenerations, yes, but really, in essence, he was still Theta. The compassionate little boy who cared too much about everything for his own good. His Theta. He had heard the longing in the Doctor’s voice when they had spoken. A longing which was hidden when it came to any one else. Anyone who didn’t know the Doctor as well as he did. And let’s face it, no one knew the Doctor as well as he did. Except perhaps that old TARDIS of his. She knew him very well. A consequence of their years travelling together. But he could see what the Doctor had hidden from so many others. The Doctor had long ago learned how to hide his feelings. But not from his Master. He held back the grin which would otherwise have spread across his face. It would be so much easier to break the Doctor knowing those emotions were still there. But even so, the Doctor was stubborn. He would try to stop him before ever letting any feelings interfere. He had seen it so many times before. He knew it from the past. But everything was in place, and his plans had been set into motion, and there were things in place for every eventuality. He had toyed with the idea of further embarrassing the Doctor with a kiss before the next phase of his plan was carried out. But no. As enjoyable as that would be for him, in more ways than one, the Doctor would probably take it as a sign that there was still hope. And he couldn’t have that. Besides, he couldn’t risk the affection he had once felt for his rival returning. Because in the same way that he could read the Doctor, the Doctor could read him better than any other. And as much as he had suppressed it, somewhere in the back of his mind, a small part of him was still Koschei. And Koschei still loved Theta, as he always had. He had long since mastered the art of suppressing that part of himself, but deep down he was still there. And as long as he was, the Doctor could not discover it.

As he walked into the room, he let a smile spread across his face as he spotted the President. He continued to scheme in the back of his mind as he spoke, easily annoying the American.

“Anything I can do? I could make tea or isn’t that American enough? I don’t know, I could make grits. What are grits, anyway?” he rambled in a way that he knew would irritate Winters in just the right way. Winters raised an eyebrow at him.

“If you could just sit,” he demanded as though talking to a disobedient dog. Saxon rolled his eyes and turned away, his face contorting into a look of disgust.

“Misery guts,” he intoned to Lucy. “What do you think?” he asked his wife as they headed towards the central conference table. “It’s good, isn’t it?” he continued, pulling out a chair for her to sit on.

“It’s beautiful!” she breathed, looking around the room in wonder as she lowered herself into the seat offered.

“Some of my best work,” he said as he bent down, whispering in her ear. “Ministry of defence.” He straightened again, moving round to take his own seat. “I helped design this place,” he informed her, sitting down beside her and leaning in closer. “Every detail.” He straightened his tie and smirked. Oh the Doctor was in for a big surprise when he arrived. And he would. Very soon, if he wasn’t already here. After all these years, the Doctor still thought he was clever enough to outsmart his Master. But the Master worked at his plans, carefully constructing them. Every detail. Whereas the Doctor… well the Doctor just blundered into situations and then blundered his way back out again. Well blundering wouldn’t help the Doctor out of this one… Not this time.

 

Elsewhere aboard the Valiant, the Doctor was, as predicted, already there, running down corridors with Jack and Martha in close pursuit. Suddenly he heard a sound. A familiar sound. He came to a halt, putting his full attention to the source and location of that noise. Jack and Martha stopped too, slightly annoyed.

“We’ve got no time for sightseeing!” said Jack, slightly exasperated. The Doctor held up his hand as a signal to be quiet.

“No, no. Wait. Shh, shh, shh. Can’t you hear it?” he asked them. It was her. He was sure of it. She was onboard somewhere very close.

“Hear what?” asked Jack, somewhat confused. Oh he’d forgotten how poor human’s hearing was.

“Doctor, my family’s on board,” stated Martha, as she strode past, annoyed. He ignored this. Oh yes, it had to be her. Definitely. A broad grin spread across his face.

“Brilliant!” he exclaimed. “This way!” he added, before heading off in a different direction, following those, oh, so familiar sounds around the corridors, before throwing open a set of doors. “Oh, at last!” he sighed as his beloved TARDIS came into view. Oh he’d missed her.

“Oh, yes!” said Martha, laughing as she saw the familiar blue box standing ahead of them.

“What’s it doing on the Valiant?” Jack asked, voicing the silent question in the others minds. Well obviously the Master had some plan for her, but what it was, was yet to be determined. The Doctor strode forward and pushed the doors of his TARDIS, somewhat surprised to find them left open. As soon as he stepped inside however he knew that there was something drastically wrong with his poor TARDIS. A red light bathed her interior, giving it a menacing look. Her console had components removed and was caged, like a wild animal. So this was why the Master had seen fit to leave the TARDIS doors unlocked. Besides the fact that she couldn’t go anywhere in this state, he suspected it was to break his hearts once more as he saw what had been done to his wonderful ship. His only constant companion throughout all the long years. Seeing how she hurt, feeling her groan in pain was almost enough to make him hate the Master. Almost. But there was still that little niggling in the Theta part of his mind that even now stopped him. That, despite everything that the Master had done, and was doing, still couldn’t forget Koschei and the bond between them. For the time being at least though, Theta was crammed right to the back of his mind as his worry for his TARDIS’s well being set in and pushed out everything else.

“What the hell’s he done?” asked Jack, looking at the TARDIS. At the Master’s handiwork.

“Don’t touch it,” he instructed the others. Oh this wasn’t looking good at all.

“I wasn’t going to,” Jack responded.

“What’s he done though?” asked Martha as the Doctor moved up closer to examine the caged console. “Sounds like it’s… sick.” SHE thought the Doctor. SHE’S sick. Oh his human companions never seemed to understand that his TARDIS was so much more than just a piece of machinery used purely as a tool to travel time and space. That she was alive. He’d given up trying to explain how she was a sentient being as well long ago. But Martha was right. She was definitely sick.

“It can’t be,” he stated, knowing full well that it could and was. “No, no, no, no, no, no, it can’t be, “ he said again as though repetition of it might undo what the Master had done to his precious TARDIS. Return her to her usual healthy self.  
“Doctor, what is it?” asked Martha, concerned, although more by the Doctor’s expression and the fact that the TARDIS was no longer an option for helping them to get out of this mess than for the ship herself.

“He’s cannibalised the TARDIS,” the Doctor almost literally spat the words out, allowing his rage at the Master’s actions to expose itself, to push down even further those feelings deep inside which could ruin everything for both himself and all the billions of people on the planet below if they were set loose now, and allowed to grow once more as they had back on Gallifrey when there had been no reason to suppress them. Nothing in the way. A look of realisation had dawned on Jack’s face.

“Is that what I think it is?” he asked the Doctor.

“It’s a paradox machine,” he informed them bitterly. As he continued to examine the TARDIS and the damage done another memory rose unbidden to mind.

_Theta and Koschei were in the library reading. Theta was reading about the one subject that could capture his attention for more than about a minute, even when in Koschei’s company — the planet Earth. For some reason it had always fascinated him and stories of it always caught his imagination. Meanwhile Koschei had chosen a tome on the workings and construction of paradox machines, as well as why they were completely illegal. They sat there studiously for a while, each engrossed in their chosen subject. Theta was, as usual, the first to lose interest. Even Earth could only provide a distraction from his Koschei for so long. He turned to glance at the one he loved who was still engrossed, apparently oblivious to Theta. He leaned so he was resting against Koschei’s arm and rested his head on the other boy’s shoulder, glancing down at the text being read._

_“Good book?” he asked in a whisper, breaking the silence. Koschei looked at Theta, a smile playing across his lips making Theta’s hearts flutter in a way that no one else could ever have achieved._

_“Oh yes,” came the reply as he purposefully ignored the look of adoration that was now on Theta’s face. “A most insightful read, although why anyone would want to make one is beyond me!” he continued with a grin. He looked into his lovers eyes for a moment, before leaning and planting a kiss on him, causing an adorable blush to spread across Theta’s cheeks as he returned it._

The Doctor shook himself. Stop it, he scolded himself silently. He had no doubt that it was from that very book that the Master had learned how to turn his TARDIS into a paradox machine. He inspected a gauge in front of him, tapping on it.  
“As soon as this hits red, it activates,” he stated in an attempt to return his thoughts to the present. “At this speed,” he continued, looking at the watch on Jack’s wrist. “it’ll trigger at two minutes past eight.” So they knew when everything was going to kick off, but they still had no idea what was going to happen. Knowing the Master, it would be very dangerous, but absolutely spectacular.

“First contact is at eight and then two minutes later…” said Jack ominously.

“What’s it for? What’s a paradox machine do?” asked Martha, confused. Unlike the others she had only recently discovered the worlds beyond Earth, and so knew next to nothing about this, part of the Doctor’s universe.

“More importantly, can you stop it?” asked Jack. He knew how dangerous these things could be. Knew they had been banned long ago for a reason.

“Not until I know what it’s doing. Touch the wrong bit and blow up the solar system,” the Doctor stated. Probably not a good idea. If he only had longer then he might have been able to figure it out, but with mere minutes…

“Then we’ve got to get to the Master,” said Martha. Yes. They did, time to stop him.

“Yeah. How do we stop him?” asked Jack. And for once he had planned. For once he had considered how the Master might be thinking and had come up with something clever. Something which might work.

“Oh, I’ve got a way. Sorry, didn’t I tell you?” the Doctor responded grinning cheekily but unwilling to share any further. Oh he had a way, and if he was careful, no one would have to get hurt. Not this time.


End file.
